JUDGING, EXPECTATIONS AND THE OTHER ONE

According to Dr. Carolyn Myss there are three rules we must adhere to in order to allow our creativity to fully express through us: 1) Don’t judge,  2) Have no expectation, 3) I can’t remember this one but will look it up.

Of course, I apply all three of these to my creativity as a writer.  I think that it should flow easily and effortlessly and if it doesn’t, then maybe I’m not really meant to write - Sounds like an expectation.  

I’m usually quite sure that even if I do write, no one would want to read it or if they do they’ll criticize it, so what’s the point? - hmmm, definitely judging.

I am sure I am also breaking rule number three even though I don’t recall it right now.  

Plus, if anybody knows I want to be a writer, then won’t they expect me to write? Won’t they ask me about it and then I would be embarrassed if I hadn’t written anything? Worse yet, what if they want to actually read something I’ve written? What if they think it’s stupid or just not very good?  My stomach churns just thinking about putting myself out there like that.  I think this is another rule: Don’t worry about what others think.

Maybe I’m too hung up on everything being “easy and effortless.”  Is that such a bad thing?  Probably not, but it can certainly pose limits on what one would attempt.  

I’m inspired when I read about writers that had a hard time getting their piece down on paper. Nevertheless, I am reading it in some sort of widely disseminated publication so they must have overcome the difficulty. I realize that “easy and effortless” doesn’t always flow to other writers either and that maybe if I just push through, the words will eventually end up on the paper.  

Then, inevitably, I’ll read about the writer that has always written. They were writing stories when they were children, they wrote the school paper, became journalism majors and went on to write article after article or book after book.  It seems the words just flow from them like water in a stream. I think I just recalled another rule:  Don’t compare yourself to others. 

I’m beginning to see where my blockages lie.  I’m breaking ALL of the rules! 

Now I’m feeling that rock in the pit of my stomach when I ask myself whether or not I should post this to my blog.  Like anybody actually reads my blog! Hardly anybody even knows about it although I did post the link on Facebook a few months ago.  No comments, no followers, nobody interested. OR, they read it, thought it was crap and won’t ever subject themselves to THAT again.  

See, there I go: judging, expecting, and worrying about the outcome. Hey! That’s the third rule - don’t worry about the outcome (something like that).   

OK - I’ll post. 

Exercise "Experts"

Ok. I've had it with study after conflicting study on diet and exercise. Do these researchers ever actually work with real people on a daily basis? Recommendations from the "experts" can be so disheartening that it discourages people from exercising AT ALL. No matter what you do, or for how long, CONSISTENCY is the key. The main reason the studies conflict is because everyone is individual - different lifestyles, eating habits, stress levels, hormone changes, body types, allergies, and most significantly -  different filters and subconscious patterns. 

People need to know that ANY exercise along with better eating habits will result in weight loss and better health. Yes, I said better eating habits. Exercise alone won't cut it. Sorry, if you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.

One step at a time, be patient with yourself, ask for help (personal trainer, nutritionist, friends, family, whatever) and appreciate even the smallest things about your body that are good, i.e. you can walk and breathe without assistance. Keep looking at where you want to be and you'll get there whether it's an hour a day or only 10 minutes a day. Just do something!

Hair? What hair? His eyelashes are gone now, too. Still has the brows!

It's ALLLLL ABOUT MONEY

I read a “Soul Inspirations” newsletter this morning and it suggests meditation as a means to calm your mind and come into alignment with your soul. Well, I have been meditating for many, many years and know it truly to be a path to peace and joy in my life.

The article describes a basic meditation by guiding the reader to “focus on your breath.” It further suggests that you choose a symbol to focus on with your “mind’s eye” or the “third eye” which is located between your eyebrows in the center of your forehead. Examples of symbols were “a flower, a religious symbol or icon, a single word or whatever is pleasing to you.”
So, what symbol do you think comes up for me?? A DOLLAR SIGN! Shit! It’s always about money, isn’t it?! Here I am feeling all spiritual and everything and the first thing that comes up for me is dollar signs – right in the middle of my forehead.

OBSERVATIONS FROM A CHEMO OBSERVER

My beloved fiancé is going through chemo treatments for non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. The prognosis is very good. They say with his CD20 genetic marker and new drugs the chemo will wipe it right out. Good news.

Meanwhile, he still has to suffer the chemo treatments. I think a “survivor” is not necessarily those who have had cancer and survived, but those who’ve gone through chemo and survived. I had breast cancer. A surgery, several weeks of recovery and physical therapy and I came out the other side looking better than before. I don’t see myself as a “survivor.” I didn’t have to go through the hell of chemotherapy.

There is no surgery planned for Bruce. The chemo should take care of the problem.

Little by little, I’m watching the chemo’s tentacles begin their slow reaching take over of his behaviors and preferences.

He isn’t drinking coffee. He LOVES coffee. Not right now.
He moved the flowers his sister brought. The smell bothers him.
He didn’t gel his hair this morning.

Sometimes when life is throwing us difficult situations, personal illness, terminal illness of loved ones etc. we feel we should stay strong and positive. Strong and positive are good things to be; however, we must allow our selves to also feel our sadness and despair. It's like a dark cloud that is so full of rain it finally bursts and in dissipating, allows the sun to shine once again.

Appreciation

Let's say your grown children are living with you. They are in transition or need a few months to get on their feet. Or maybe they just graduated from college and haven't found a job yet. Or maybe they just need some help. You are more than happy to help them out. You want to be there for them and help them any way you can.

Everyone gets into the day-to-day routine of living and you start to notice that they just aren't very appreciative. Maybe they don't take out the trash when it's overflowing, or they play computer games or sleep instead of actually looking for work. Maybe they expect you to buy their cookies and do their laundry. They won't even clean their bathroom or ask if they can help with anything. They act as if they are still the children living at home with Mom and Dad and everything should be like it was in elementary school. You are very discouraged. You feel angry, frustrated and used.

If they just show a little appreciation, you instantly want to help them even more. You are more than happy to pay for their cleaning or buy their Oreos. They take out the trash or put away the dishes without being asked and you feel appreciated and will do anything for them. They ask "Is there anything I can do?" or "Can I bring you a Starbucks?" You are ecstatic and will do anything for them. Just a little appreciation - no big production - just a little appreciation, consideration and personal responsibility.

You know what? The Universe works the same way!!! If you appreciate WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE and WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, the Universe notices and wants to give you more. It's just like with your kids. The more they do, the more they take responsibility, the more they APPRECIATE what they have and what you've given them ALREADY, the more you want to give.

The more we appreciate what we ALREADY HAVE, and the opportunities that are ours RIGHT NOW - the more the Universe wants to give AND WILL GIVE. WoW!!!! This is such a great epiphany for me!! I know that appreciation will bring more and that accepting where I am right now will allow me to move forward; but I never saw it more clearly than from this perspective. Thank y0u Spirit for more CLARITY.